I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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