you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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