Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My cat gives me a boner
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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