my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
