I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
