Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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