i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
