I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
so much tequila, so little girl.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
