His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
