You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
