just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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