Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
