After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize