Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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