We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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