yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
