I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
