Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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