no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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