It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
