Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Say something about gay babies.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
