I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
