I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
