lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
