Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
