you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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