I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
