I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize