i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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