My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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