You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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