Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just gargled with NyQuil
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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