Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize