He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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