Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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