i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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