my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
