Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
