Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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