how do flat chested girls get laid?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
