I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
