I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
