My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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