Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
