Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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