she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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