Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
