Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
