He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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