Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
