So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
