just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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