So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
