you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
