the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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