There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was CRYING into my vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
