You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
