in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
