i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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