you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
