Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Holy sore nipples Batman
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I believe in your delicious
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
