he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
