you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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